All the drivers were nestled in their villas and yachts,
With visions of wins, and no care for the have-nots;
While team owners scrambled for cash to survive,
St. Bernie just continues to grow and thrive.

When out in the paddock there arose such a clatter,
I leapt from my computer to see what was the matter;
Over boxes and parts in my haste I tore,
To see He approaching, the grizzled old whore!

He burst through the door with hand on hip,
Searching for anyone who dared to give lip;
From a sack on his shoulder stuffed to the brim,
Out popped a lawyer in holiday trim!

“Law suits, subpoenas and more races I bring,
And you’d better say thank you, and my praises sing;”
“If not to your liking, my elfin friend swears,
Your home race to cancel and your soul to lay bare;”

With families to feed and sponsors lacking,
How can a team afford not to give him full backing?
With Technology soaring along with the cost,
It’s impossible to keep up, maybe all is lost;

Fear not my poor lads, more largesse I do bring,
Just sign on the line and fear not what else I sling;
26 races a year, all back to back,
stop your complaining and just get in the sack;

A few more dollars, each team I will provide,
Stop trying to run things and just go and drive!
The banks are baying and snapping at heels,
I’ll still manage to win and control all the deals;

Out the door he ran continuing to fret,
Into “Dancer” he stormed his private jet;
And I heard him exclaim as he flew into night,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, I DO LOVE A GOOD FIGHT!