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Who Did What, And Who Didn’t

Written by George Katinger · October 25, 2004

With the conclusion of the 2004 F1 racing schedule, and prior to the serious pursuit of the silly season, it’s helpful to take a look back at this years driver achievements. And lack of same!


reuters.co.uk: Driver-by-driver assessment of 2004 F1 season

You can scan the article for the full review of all the drivers, and here is my take on next years prospects.

  1. Michael Schumacher. Run, do not walk, to retirement. There is no way, with the pending rules and competition package changes, that you can come close to this years glory. Watching you mope on the podium at Spa with “only” second place was totally depressing. Make us all happy, and spend next year with the family.
  2. Rubens Barrichello. Convince Schumi to retire and spend next year showing “El Doctore” the finer points of F1 racing. Then retire.
  3. Jenson Button. Major achievement with ten podiums this year. Now learn to say “Yes Mr. Richards, whatever you say”. Will come in handy next year, may actually help get you your first win before Taku does.
  4. Fernando Alonso. Loose the soul patch and develop some anger and passion. Seems like you lost some fire this year at mid season.
  5. Juan Pablo Montoya. Great drives in a mediocre Williams car. Now loose twenty pounds and get ready for Kimi and “The House That Bruce Built.” You thought partnering Ralf was tough?
  6. Jarno Trulli. Nice win at Monaco, loose the hair-do and find alternative employment after mid-July. You won’t be in the Toyota.
  7. Kimi Raikkonen. Gain twenty pounds, seek speech coaching to improve your podium interview presentation. You will be there a lot!
  8. Takuma Sato. Learn how to shift, maybe not blow as many engines next year? Maybe not.
  9. Ralf Schumacher. Proved me wrong by coming back strong after Indy wreck. Too bad he won’t have a fast car to race at Toyota next year.
  10. David Coulthard, Olivier Panis, Christiano da Matta, Christian Klien, Giorgio Pantano: Find a good day job, other than racing.
  11. Jacques Villeneuve. Much talk, no action. 2005 prospects at Sauber? Can you say back marker? How long before he quits after consistently placing behind Felipe Massa?

With all the pending changes and turmoil, there is a strong possibility that next year may bring a vast improvement in entertainment, on and off the track. Lets hope so, this year couldn’t have been more of a struggle to get through, let alone finding much joy.

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Comments

3 Responses to “Who Did What, And Who Didn’t”

  1. Josh on October 25th, 2004 10:15 pm

    Panis already did find a good day job…a day job I’d kill for…testing an F1 car. All the fun, none of the pressure, some of the salary. Go frog boy! da Matta will drive for his pal Paul Newman in Champ Car…where he belongs.

  2. Andrew on October 26th, 2004 12:01 am

    What a shitty review.

  3. Josh on October 26th, 2004 11:34 am

    Uh…good to see you again Andrew…I think. Care to share anything more?

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